confessions of a novice barista

So i've very recently been experimenting with the very intimidating and expensive looking coffee machine at work- and can i say i have a newfound respect for baristas. They make it look so easy, (those showoffs) casually doing backhand tosses and dancing through each drink.

Here's a novice bartender's step-by-step guide to making a cup of coffee:

1) Turn on the coffee bean grinder and fill the portafiller with coffee powder.
2) Fail at attaching the portafiller to the coffee machine, casually dusting the table with a generous amount of coffee.
3) After seeking help and sheepishly cleaning the counter, measure out one cup of milk and skim it.
4) Burn your hand on the skim attachment and ungraciously an screech "OW"
5) Thank God that you didn't spill anything while nursing your now throbbing finger
6) After burning your coffee because you left it dripping for too long, pour the milk in the centre of the half-filled coffee cup
7) Try your best to produce somewhat decent latte art using the foam of the milk; your abstract recreation of what you intended to be a heart shape looks more like a butchered cow and your coworkers chuckle behind your back.

All in a day's work. I'll get better at this I'm sure(;

People: Theorell