2017: the year of acceptance

In 2017 I very sadly realised that the only thing I have any real control over are my grades, and that I must necessarily relinquish control over all other aspect of my life. This year I finally admitted to myself that the honeymoon period of my relationship is officially over, and that relationships really do take a lot of work and commitment to keep them going. Against all odds I picked up badminton (and got rackets for my christmas present from my boyfriend) and ballet, and the best money i spent this year was on the one-for-one entertainer app. This year is also the year that my favourite restaurant, Portico, closed. I will forever hence dream of their truffled wild mushroom crepe and the most delicious moscato known to the 21 year old me.

In the later half of the year, I struggled with accepting my extremely imperfect self. I compared and contrasted, and it stole a lot of my joy as the saying goes. I didn't feel pretty enough, smart enough, desirable enough to take on the looming adult world. And trust me, when your friends are asking when you and your boyfriend of 2 years are BTO-ing, you start to consider the future (student loans! career! marriage! kids!) pretty damn seriously and it can be so scary. I signed up to be a student mentor this semester and i remember how i was bawling my eyes out to my boyfriend 2 hours before I was supposed to meet my juniors to guide them in their school life and career life (the irony!!) because I felt so unprepared to graduate and you know, having to look for a decent paying job that I hopefully actually enjoy. Zhanteng was also incredibly busy this semester with job hunting and other commitments which took a real toil on our relationship, though i'm glad to say we've managed to pull through after all. Have I mentioned that relationships take a lot of work? 

This year, I realised that being less than perfect is ok and I need to cut myself some slack. Im not comfortable with uncertainty but I've realised that I do not need to have it together all the time. That being said i will not kick myself for eating instant kimchi ramen once in a while because it is bad for health (but also delicious - damn why must those two things necessarily go together?!). I need to breathe and accept the things I cannot change, and appreciate the things that I can. The latter especially including treasuring the many golden friendships, family and loved ones in my life.

May 2018 be filled with love, challenges and its triumph. X

wonderful and good and lovely companionship with shying and shermie - can't wait to explore eastern europe with them

duck confit x plentyfull breakfast platter

lavender blueberry macaron that is so good; not sweet at all, filled with flavour, juicy berries and cream - divine!

aneri and i, my precious nana buddy

at jamie oliver's

risotto

bolognese and the basic lagsana (ok both were totally average, will not visit again)

the ambience is beautiful though

watched the chef prepare these over the counter - amusing how over 10 ingredients go into plating

the WBBs omg i love you guys

broke some record - our non-stop conversation lasted 3 hours

the coffee academics

the assembly ground 

the best best best burger in singapore i am not kidding you, the assembly burger is the best burger you'll ever eat

coffee shenanigans

arthur, rebecca, aaron and gladys's christmas dinner party was so lovely

thoughtful decorations, great food, new friends and sweet wine

good company of course makes everything better

so thankful!

with the hugs

i was so tired that night but ill do anything for them

when the kids are in charge of decorations haha

omnomnom whachu looking at

hannah made me a ballerina popsicle stick doll

cooking red and white pasta with mum! the mussels were bursting with flavour.

this wok has cooked every food imaginable with me/ for me hehe

churchies! loved serving this christmas services absolutely no regrets

thank you for the christmas blooms and for coming to watch b

with the newly engaged candice and her funny fiancé gerald

christmas baking madness! the 5 star brownie recipe pulled through thank God

mirror selfie

probably the first and last 'step' photo I've ever taken. it was quite painful to pull such a look.

my exchange winter boots - gonna break them in soon wuhu.