On relationships ♥

I've been meaning to write this post for a long time coming as a reminder to myself if not for others to read. The thing is, recently, Zhanteng and I had a close friend tell us "look at the way Zhanteng and Rebecca are, I bet they never argue one". *mic drop*

Honestly, that is the most ridiculous thing i've ever, ever heard. In fact it was so absurd to me at that moment that I could only laugh.

I don't know if the impression came from Instagram or perhaps the fact that we seem so happy around campus, but our relationship definitely lingers far from the perfect ideal. In fact, Zhanteng and I had a disagreement just last night, and because we have an unspoken rule about not going to bed until we've truly worked through the issue, we didn't sleep until 3am.

Relationships aren't smooth sailing, and this being my first ever relationship well, needless to say that its taught me a lot. In the words of Zhanteng- "how can you put two imperfect people together and expect their relationship to be perfect? It's just not possible." And oh boy it really isn't. What people don't see is that behind the scenes relationships are a lot of work. They are the figurative houses that both of you have to build, block by block until it becomes a structure sturdy enough to hold the both of you, such that it weathers the disagreements and fights that you may share.

I'm so lucky to have a boyfriend who is incredibly patient and loving and willing to make time for me even though he's constantly surrounded with work. Dating a law student really isn't easy either- but that's a story for another time. What matters most at the end of the day for us is how willing we are to say "im not proud that i did this today and i'm sorry"; putting all our human pride aside and coming clean about our sensitivities and insecurities in our relationship, even if it makes us seem needy or even undesirable to the other person. And yet, saying it in a way that hates the 'sin', and is not personally or directly hurtful to the 'sinner'. That in itself is as hard as it gets- but it makes all the difference.

Are relationships easy? No. Are they worth it though? Yes, they absolutely are. I'm still learning to be a better partner everyday for Zhanteng and that learning never stops for the both of us. Ever, i think. We'll learn how to be better people and partners till we're old and grey and when I have to wear thick spectacles because i don't think my hands will be steady enough at 80 to put my contacts in. You get the picture(:

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