In hindsight -

"As an author, we write to taste life twice- in the moment and in retrospect"

Even though it is not yet December, the weather has cooled down significantly. It feels that the old tweaky fan in my room is finally doing its job, and my quilt feels appropriately thick for once. I usually sleep without it in the summer you see, with my boat shorts. And even though it is, like i said, only December, i feel like the conclusion of my final exams today has already marked the start of a new year.

There is a metaphor that is plucked from the expanse of the english vocabulary- "chapters in our lives". This year, i add many. The biggest adversity this year is my knee- it has deprived me of my passion for fencing, my first trip to japan, a scholarship to study abroad in the Winter holidays (i would be setting off tomorrow if i didn't have to turn it down), amongst others. I couldn't stand up on my own for about a month in July and running for the bus once forced me to cab if i wanted to continue attending school. And no, i still cannot climb more than 3 flights of stairs even 5 months after the injury. I took a grabcar once and the friendly driver offered me words of wisdom: it is not a problem if it can be solved with money. It is a problem when it cannot. Overcoming this emotional journey (i am still in the midst of it) has been an emotionally toiling one for me and the people around me, especially my boyfriend who volunteered to carry my books in between lessons. And like most challenges, i hope to come out stronger.

The happiest experience i had this year was my overseas community service project. It has been the most exacting and gruelling experience (summer in Vietnam is no joke) facing bedbugs, trekking 10km a day, late nights and early mornings, but what i got out of it made it worthwhile by miles and miles. I got the opportunity not to teach the children in the schools because believe me their teachers are extremely competent, but rather to give them something to aspire towards. Encouraging them and expressing validation in their dreams of becoming the future doctors and teachers of Vietnam, giving them a humble piece of my time to teach them some of our local childhood games that they will enjoy long after i leave. They are bright and eager to learn, ever ready to offer a smile and a piece of their lunch (chilli on guava anyone?) from their farms. The amount of tears that left their eyes when my students tediously told me in English- "i won't say goodbye because it is too sad. i will say see you again, and see you tomorrow." before running off left some in my own, and still do. I loved the meaningful experience there and i will treasure it for the rest of my life.

And then, the earth has yet made another round around the sun's orbit. It has taught me much, especially about being kind and putting your best self forward at all times, no matter the situation. About doing favours and being caring as much as you can afford it. And to smile in the midst of a storm because facing turmoil is better with a positive attitude than without. To those that have surrounded my year and have given me the pleasure of meeting you- thank you.

X

this post was written a while ago in November